The Day After The Day
by ThrawnsGirl
Summary: It was the day after this day, the end of this week. Addison knew they had to talk about it. Mark did too. But then the conversation turned out completely different from what either of them had expected. An alternate ending of the conversation in 3x12 where they talked about their aborted baby.


**Disclaimer: All Characters and things like that belong to Shonda Rhimes.**

 **AN: I just had this idea while re-watching some of my favorite episodes of season 3. So I ended up with this oneshot. But I don't want to talk too much. I just have to say that I'm not a native English speaker, I'm German, so there may be some mistakes. I really ave to stop talking now, so let's start.**

 **The Day After The Day**

It was over. Finally the day was over. In the morning, when Addison had woken up in her lonely hotel room, everything had felt better. Not really normal, but a tiny bit better. The guilt wasn't gone, but it was almost bearable now. Maybe for him it was the same. Maybe it had just been this one day and now they could treat each other like a simply co-existing human being again.

But on the other hand, they never had. They had never been just indifferent. They had always cared. First they had been friends, then he had been the fifth wheel in her marriage. And after the awful betrayal of the person that had been most important to both of them, they had been lovers. Even after she had left him for her husband, he hadn't just given up. He had followed her to Seattle, the second time he had even insisted to stay - and they both knew he hated this city, hated the weather, hated everything except her and his best friend.

They couldn't just co-exist peacefully, but maybe they could get back to where they had been back in New York, before anything had happened, when they had just been the two most important people to a famous neuro surgeon with god-complex.

But to reach that state, they had to do one last thing, so they could let this whole thing behind. Even though nobody really wanted it, they had to. They had to talk about it. Because they never had. She had told him what she had done and three days later Richard had called, so she had packed her things and gotten on a plane, had never looked back. They had separated in the middle of a crisis, and when he had gotten here, they had just pretended it hadn't happened. She could have almost thought he had forgotten, but then, on Monday, suddenly everything had come back, when he had announced that it was _this week_ , that he indeed remembered, that this week was all about her mistakes.

And, actually, this week wasn't over yet. It was Friday. But she couldn't do it anymore. She just wanted things to be normal again - or as normal as they could, after everything that had happened.

She had looked for him, she had asked the nurses for him - they always knew where he was, they stalked him because he was hot and had slept with almost all of them, just like he had in New York -, and then had finally spotted him.

He was sitting in a tiny office room, coughing while drinking tea, instead of the typical bone-dry cappuccino. And seriously, it looked pathetic. Mark Sloan, man whore in a really muscular shape, had a cold.

She half-entered the room, leaning onto the doorframe, looking down at him.

"Oh my god." She laughed, hoping it wouldn't upset him. "Look at you."

"I'm miserable," he admitted.

"That's the rain." She considered to enter the room completely, but then just took a tiny step and leaned back to the doorframe again. "Constant dampness. It takes the body a while to adjust."

"I don't wanna adjust." He stood up. Maybe because he hated it to feel small next to her - even when she had worn her 4-inch heels, he had always been taller.

"Then go home."

"If you'd had the baby, we'd be together in New York right now. It wouldn't be raining. And even if it was, we wouldn't care because we'd be together." So he wanted to talk about the same thing she wanted - or didn't, but had to. She didn't know it was a good or a bad thing. "We'd be together. And I'd have a family, instead of walking pneumonia and an ex-best friend who hates me."

Okay, so that was how they began this forced conversation. With accusing each other. She could do that, too. "You didn't wanna raise a child, Mark. You wanted to trump Derek, you wanted to win." She didn't really know if this was the case. But it seemed… logical. Why would he say it otherwise? He wasn't the family type of guy. He was… Mark.

"Don't make this my fault. You didn't want a baby."

"No, I did want a baby." She raised her voice and finally stepped into the room. "Mark. That last woman you slept with before I left New York, Charlene, peds nurse. I… Did you think, that she was the only one I knew about?"

She indeed knew about some others. But only from the gossip the nurses told. But this one, Charlene, she knew about for certain. Because when she had walked in on them in the on-call room, it had been the final sign, that this baby just wasn't right, that Mark and her would never be a couple, could never be parents. She had made her decision the first second she had seen black hair and bare skin below his naked body. And not even his thousand apologies afterwards hadn't changed it, because she knew she wasn't his one and only. Because for him it had always just been about sex. Commitment was the thing Marks Sloan feared the most. "You're rewriting history, Mark," she continued.

"We wouldn't still be together. We weren't a great couple. And you would have made a terrible father, Mark." She knew she had really hurt him, unintentionally, with that last sentence, because of the way he looked at her. His eyes were sad. If you didn't know him, you could almost think he was a broken man. But she knew better. "I did want a baby, I did, I just… I just didn't want one with you."

She had really always wanted a baby. She had met the perfect guy, they had agreed about starting a family, but wanted to wait until after med school. Then it had been internship, residency, fellowships. And when she had finally had been ready, it had been too late. He had turned away, then she had cheated on him and he had left. She had ended up pregnant, but he hadn't been his, it had been his best friend's and it had just been so wrong.

Mark had been looking at the floor, but now he looked up and his gaze went shocked.

She wanted to apologize, thought it was all her fault, but when she lowly turned around to see what he was staring at - because it definitely wasn't her -, she was staring too, staring at a face more shocked, more hurt than Marks.

"Derek…" she whispered, panicking, tears forming in her eyes.

"What else do I have to find out, Addison?" His expression went angry. "First I find you two together in _my_ bed, then you tell me you lived together for two months. And now this! What comes next? That you screwed him for months before I walked in on you? That you two are secretly married?!"

"Derek, listen-" It was Mark's voice this time.

But Derek interrupted. "No! You impregnated my wife!"

"Ex-wife."

"She was my wife, then!"

"But you left her, Derek."

"Because she cheated on me! Because I had to see her naked with the man I thought was my best friend!"

"Mentally, emotionally, you had left me a long time ago." It was sad, but what she had said was true. He hadn't really been there. His body had, but the love, the trust, everything had been gone.

"You two are unbelievable." Derek shook his head. "You were pregnant!"

"I terminated, because I wanted to be with you."

"You should have thought about that before letting him fuck you."

Mark stepped next to her. "She's right. She aborted my baby, because she loved you. And I'm not happy about it, but, honestly, I understand. Because I know how it is to be in love, to regret something you did wrong, but you know the other one will never forgive you."

She would have never expected Mark to say things like that. She would have never thought he was able to say those things, to feel those things. But he was still just a human, after all. He had feelings, he could get hurt, and he could do what few people could. He could forgive.

Derek laughed sarcastically. "You know how it is to be in love? I don't think so. You're not capable of feeling such things."

"What do you know? Maybe even I have a hidden face no one ever saw, except for one person."

Addison looked up, met his sky blue eyes. She had. She had seen this side, she knew this side. Because she had probably been the only person ever to hear those three words out of Mark Sloan's mouth. _I love you._ He had said it. He had even said it after finding out about the abortion, when he had been angry, hurt, feeling betrayed all at once. He could feel this way, he just didn't know how to show it.

Derek just stared, not saying anything.

So Mark continued. "I was there when you weren't, Derek. And maybe me sleeping with her was what you two needed to finally realize that your marriage was over."

Derek looked as if he wanted to throw his fist into his ex-best friend's face, like he had done all those months ago, but he didn't. He just said "You can have her." And then he left.

Addison and Mark were alone in the small room once again.

"I'm sorry, Mark," she said quietly. "I'm not sorry for what I did, because I still think it was the right thing to do. But I'm sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to."

"Maybe you were right. I still wish you didn't do it, because I really wanted that baby, and I wanted it with you. But I probably would have been a terrible father. And you would have felt miserable, then, instead of me. And I don't want you to feel that way, because I still love you."

Their eyes locked once again, and when their lips met and the distance between their bodies lessened, until they were as close as possible, her back against the wall, it somehow, anyhow, just felt so right.

 **AN: I actually didn't plan Maddison to kiss or Mark to confirm he's still in love with her. The only thing I planned was Derek to overhear the end of the conversation. But I honestly like how this turned out. I hope you do too! Please let me know what you think by writing a review.**

 **(And if you want to, you can also check out my other fanfiction** _ **Everything Changed And My Life Is A Mess**_ **, which is about how the If/Then AU Episode could have continued.)**


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